


Once A Whore, You're Nothing More

by notquitepunkrock



Series: And One Time... [4]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Paramore, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: (okay so i don't really like Ashley or Jessica), (so sue me), Alternate Universe - High School, But this is pretty okay, I love all of the girls omg, I think. maybe, I'm Sorry, I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like it, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Lyn-Z is basically everyone's big sister, Pete Wentz's Suicide Attempt (Best Buy Incident), Poor Hayley wow okay, Sadness, Triggers, WOW TRIGGER WARNING, i cried tbh, i rambled a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 20:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5347415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notquitepunkrock/pseuds/notquitepunkrock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or five times Hayley was called a whore, and one time she said it herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once A Whore, You're Nothing More

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: referenced rape/non-con/child molestation, referenced suicide attempt (Pete's)
> 
> Wow, this is crap and I'm not entirely sure what I wrote. But I like it better than Pete's or Gee's and about as much as Frank's so. There's that. (Also, it's the second longest, after I Mean This, I'm Okay... hm.)
> 
> Title from Misery Business by Paramore

**~one~**   
**(five years old)**

Hayley hated girls’ nights. In her humble opinion, boys were much less drama, which is why she tended to hang around Spencer-from-kindergarten and his older friends more often than she hung out with Debby and Jenna. Her mother would joke that “she should wait until she was older,” but Hayley wasn’t sure what that meant.

So yes, Hayley hated girls’ nights, because they were decidedly no-boys-allowed, and her _bestest friends_ were boys. But Debby and Jenna were her friends too, and Jenna’s friend Tyler had introduced them to these girls named Ashley and Ashlee (and sometimes-but-not-this-time, Jessica) and Jamia and Sarah and Lindsey, and now she was stuck at Jenna’s house with them.

The worst part is that she was the shortest, and this seemed to translate to most helpless in everyone else’s minds. If there was one thing Hayley Williams was _not_ , it was helpless. (Unless her uncle was around, but she never seemed to have control over the "games" they played.)

The other girls laughed away something Jamia had said. “There’s no way you’ve been kissed, not by _Frankie_ ,” squealed Sarah, who was apparently all-knowing. “Plus you’re only seven. Seven-year-olds don’t kiss behind trees.”

Hayley and Lindsey exchanged looks, and Hayley smiled when the older girl rolled her eyes. Sarah herself was six-and-a-half. What would she know?

Unfortunately said girl saw Hayley’s smirk, because she turned on her next. “What about you, Hayley?” Sarah asked, smiling widely. “Have you been kissed before?” Hayley blushed to the roots of her dark blonde hair. She thought of her uncle and the way he kissed her when no one was around. It made her insides feel yucky, like she was going to puke. Hayley debated lying, but decided it would do no good. She was an awful liar.

“I, um, y-yeah,” she stuttered out, staring at the ground.

Ashlee (with-an-E) made a choked sound. “My big sister says that kissing before you’re thirteen makes you a whore,” she said, whispering the last word like it was a death sentence.

Ashley (with-a-Y) rolled her eyes at this, leaning towards Lindsey to say something in her ear. The eldest girl smirked, then looked over at Hayley, who was staring at the ground with tears in her eyes. Said girl felt stupid and shameful, and she didn’t even know what “whore” meant, but it sounded _bad_.

“Hey, stop it,” Lindsey snapped, moving over next to the little girl and pulling her into a hug. “Hayley didn’t deserve that, and neither does anyone else. It’s not nice.” Hayley hated being coddled, but she allowed it just this once. Lindsey gave really good hugs, after all.

**~two~  
** **(eight years old)**

_“If you tell anyone about this, you filthy whore, I will kill your momma and your sisters.”_

Hayley’s eyes snapped open. She hated her nightmares - or were they memories - about her scarycreepyicky uncle and the games he liked to play. She didn’t want to remember that he threatened to kill her family. She especially didn’t want to remember the way his hands felt as they crawled over here - at least, not here, in sixth-grade-Pete’s basement.

Hayley slowly rolled onto her side, peeking through half-lidded eyes at the chaos. Spencer and Tyler and Josh had dragged her, Jenna, and Debby along to their friend’s house after school, not giving them a chance to deny the invite. It seemed that those three were constantly trying to add to their list of friends.

Pete was nice enough, and his parents had granted him and his friends (and friends-of-friends) the use of their basement to fix up and turn into a hangout space. Everyone had been working on making the place a suitable clubhouse when Hayley sat down on a couch in the corner and promptly fallen asleep. Someone had been nice enough to lay her down properly and give her a blanket, and something told her that someone was Patrick Stump. (He was kind like that, she had noticed.)

Hayley frowned as she watched her friends, new and old, bustle about, remembering her nightmare. She still wasn’t sure what a whore was, but if Uncle ScaryCreepyIcky said it to her, it had to be a bad thing.

**~three~**   
**(thirteen years old)**

“Sex ed is so _gross_ ,” giggled Debby as they left their sixth-period science class, swinging an arm over Hayley’s shoulder. “I don’t think I can survive a whole week of this.”

Hayley rolled her eyes, shoving her friend away. “You could always skip, like Jenna did,” she shrugged, opening her locker to shove her binders into her backpack. Debby giggled, opening the locker next to Hayley’s.

“Yeah, and risk my parents murdering me? No thank you,” she replied. Hayley shrugged.

The smile fell off her face when the group of so-called “popular” boys walked by, one of them swatting at her ass. She jumped, whipping around to glare at him.

“Watch it, asshole,” she snapped, inching behind Debby ever-so-slightly, because, well. They were boys. “My skirt isn’t an invitation for your hands.”

The perpetrator shared a laugh with his friends. “Please, Williams,” he scoffed. “Everyone knows you’re a whore. That skirt’s just proof.”

 _Whore._ Hayley’s mind zeroed in on the word as the boys walked away, shoving each other as middle-schoolers do, completely oblivious to the way one word had broken the short girl behind them. Her uncle’s voice hissed it from the recesses of her mind, and Hayley felt herself getting lightheaded as she struggled to breathe properly.

“Hayley? You okay?” Debby called, but it sounded like she was asking through a wall. Hayley felt herself fall to the ground without really feeling it.

 _He’s gone, he’s in jail, he can’t get to you_ , she reminded herself, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around her waist.

She was vaguely aware of her friends pushing through the crowd, of Sarah and Jenna pulling her to her feet, of Brendon and Ryan and Spencer forcing people to make way in front and Debby and Tyler and Josh causing a barrier behind her.

Hayley didn’t even remember how she got to Pete’s house - they always seemed to be at Pete’s house, didn’t they? All she knew is that she was there, and Lindsey and Ashley (no, wait, she’s called Halsey, now) were forcing everyone out. She began sobbing into their arms, but she didn’t confess. She couldn’t confess. The lawsuit was behind them, her uncle in jail, and she was fine, absolutely fine.

(She couldn’t be alone around the guys for months, but that was okay.)

**~four~**   
**(fourteen years old)**

Another girls’ night, another night of rolling her eyes, and desperately taking drinks from Lind-Z’s beer to look cool. She wasn’t sure what they were talking about this time, only that she didn’t care, and wouldn’t until their eyes landed on her.

And of course, eventually they did. Ashlee turned to her, a smile painted on her face. ( _Why were Ashlee and Jessica even there?_ Hayley would wonder later. No one particularly liked them, really. Except maybe Pete, who had a crush on Ashlee. Hayley suspected this made Patrick hate the younger Simpson sister.) Hayley hated that smile.

“What about you, Hayley?” Jessica said from the corner, where her eyes were glued to her phone. She seemed bored, and Hayley understood that.

“Hm?”

“You a virgin?”

Hayley’s heart stopped. She knew, now, that what her uncle had done was wrong, and why it made her insides hurt like hell, why it felt like she had been torn in half. It wasn’t her fault that she had lost her innocence at such a young age. Not that the Simpson sisters would see it that way, she didn’t think. Not that she’d tell them that, regardless.

Still, she was a terrible liar, and she opened her mouth to admit the truth.

“Of course she is,” Jamia said, rolling her eyes. “She isn’t a whore, guys.”

Lyn-Z (as she spelled it now) and Halsey looked at her, and Hayley knew they knew. She wasn’t sure how, but she was sure they did. Maybe it was the magical big-sister-powers they seemed to possess. Or maybe they had just found an article from the trial, or been told by their parents. Who knew? Hayley smiled weakly. Even though Jamia was a perfectly nice girl, probably one of her best friends, and even though she wasn’t calling Hayley a...that word (quite the opposite, actually) her stomach still churned with not-so-great memories.

Any further conversation was lost, however, when Lyn-Z’s phone started ringing. She jumped, pressing it to her ear. The conversation was short, and when the person on the other line hung up, she looked around at the group with wide, terrified eyes.

“That was Mikey,” she said softly. “Pete...Pete tried to kill himself.”

**~five~  
** **(fifteen years old)**

In the year following Pete’s suicide attempt, their group turned upside-down. Josh and Tyler had some strange friends-with-benefits thing going on. Patrick refused to leave Pete’s side. Frank was struggling through a court case against his stepfather, and Gerard picked up the bottle (again). Ashlee and Jessica left once and for all, though Hayley was never sure whether they had been kicked to the curb or left on their own. Lyn-Z and Ray, who were arguably the parents of their group, watched as everything fell to ruins.

Hayley was breaking in a different way, however. While most of her friends collapsed into themselves, she seemed to explode outwards. At first it seemed insignificant. She dyed her brown hair bright orange and started staying out far later than she ever dared, leading a series of guys who were no good for her through her life.

Then the one night stands started, and Lyn-Z started to worry about her, because if there was one thing that Hayley hated, it was sex.

“I don’t see why you care,” Hayley snapped one day when Lyn-Z voiced her concerns for the millionth time as the group gathered in Gerard and Mikey’s living room.

“Well, maybe I don’t want to see you turning into a whore!” Lyn-Z yelled. Her eyes widened, and she slapped a hand over her mouth. “Hayley, I didn’t -”

Hayley felt her heart sink. “Then you don’t have to see me at all,” she spat, blinking back tears. She turned away from her friend, running out of Gerard and Mikey’s house and down the street. Frank and Patrick both got up to follow her, but by the time they reached the door, she was gone.

**-ONE-**   
**(seventeen years old)**

Hayley didn’t expect to see any of her old friends on her seventeenth birthday. Which was a bit ridiculous, seeing as she had walked into a comic book shop, and Gerard loved comics as much as Mikey loved unicorns or Patrick loved fedoras. (It was Gerard's favorite comic shop, in fact, as it sold some of the most hard-to-find things.)

Nevertheless, the short redhead didn’t expect to walk right into Frank - literally. She leapt back in surprise as she turned a corner into him, blinking up at the short boy. (God, he was still so short, who knew he would have stayed that short?)

“What are you doing here?” Frank asked, raising his eyebrows. He was the only one who Hayley had told about her uncle, when his case against his stepfather went up. She had wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone. Now, she wondered whether he had told the others, snickering about her behind her back after she left.

“It’s my birthday,” she said softly, running a hand through her hair. “Mom was busy, so I took a walk and... “ Hayley let the sentence drift off, shrugging as though to say " _here I am."_ She didn’t tell him that her mom and step-dad had gone out for who knows how long, that her sisters were at a friend’s house, that she didn’t feel safe at home alone. Not when her uncle had been released early for good behavior and he knew where they lived.

Frank nodded. “I’m getting this for Gee,” he blushed, flashing a comic book too quickly for her to see the title. She smiled tightly, wanting to edge away, but not knowing how to. This was Frank after all - though she had suffered through many girls’ nights, and had loved her female friends, she would always be another one of the boys. Frank and Patrick were two of her favorite people in the world. (But she had thrown that away, though, hadn’t she?)

 _Speak of the Devil,_ Hayley thought when Patrick trotted around the corner with a copy of ThunderCats tucked under his arm. “Hey Frank, you ready to - Hayley?” he stopped when he saw the small girl, staring at her in shock.

“I, um, hey Patrick,” she said softly, smiling a little. She tried to prevent herself from figuring out the fastest way to get out of the store if things went wrong - this was Frank and Patrick, for godsakes. They wouldn’t hurt her like that. Not all men were like her uncle.

The trio stood in the aisle awkwardly for a moment, with the two boys oblivious to the girl’s silently building panic. Finally, she had to get out before she had a panic attack. Hayley began to edge towards the door. “Thanks, boys. This has been fun and all, but-”

“Wait, Hayles!” Patrick said softly. “Why did you...leave?” Hayley closed her eyes for a moment. She had been expecting this question but it felt like a punch to the gut. After all, it had been two years since she had stormed of the Ways house and never looked back. She didn’t even speak to Spencer, Debby, and Jenna in class. At the time she hadn’t known why, but after falling apart alone, she had figured it out.

The words of her peers, of her uncle, and worst of all, of _Lyn-Z_ came crashing over her like a tidal wave, nearly causing her small frame to collapse to the dirty floor of the dingy little comic shop.

“I didn’t want to corrupt you guys by being around a… a _whore_ like me,” Hayley whispered. She felt the tears biting at the corners of her eyes, but she refused to acknowledge them. She was okay, she had been alone for two years - one more and she could be out of this town if she wanted to be. (She didn’t want to be though, not in a million years. Her family was here, and not only her biological one.)

Hayley jumped when Frank placed a hand on her shoulder, waiting for only a second before crushing her into a hug. Patrick sandwiched her from the other side, and it felt so happy and complete and like _home_ that Hayley almost couldn’t keep herself from crying.

Patrick glanced at Frank, who nodded slightly, and leaned down (but only a little bit) to whisper into her ear. “Come back to Frank and Gee’s apartment with us, Hayles,” he said softly. “The family misses you.”

Hayley pulled away, looking into the boys’ eyes. They both nodded, and she smiled slowly. Maybe she would be okay. Maybe she would get to go home.

**Author's Note:**

> SO WHAT'D YA THINK? Also if you have any ideas for this series, lemme know in the comments or something, because like, all my pre-meditated ideas have been officially used. 
> 
> Btw, if you didn't figure it out, it's kind of implied that Hayley's mom/parents found out about her uncle sexually abusing/raping her when she was around nine or ten or so, and filed a lawsuit that ended up putting him in jail. I couldn't find a way to fit it in, but Hayley's parents told her friends' parents about it, but she never told her friends, and her uncle kinda made her scared of boys/men. Just a bit. She's also sort of convinced herself that he was right.
> 
> Thanks for reading this mess of sad.


End file.
